I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
