I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This baby is an asshole
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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