i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
