You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
