He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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