he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
