oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
