I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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