let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
