dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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