Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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