Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
