their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Farmville is her only friend.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
