I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
