plz talk dirty to me
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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