OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
