If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
