awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
