went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
