I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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