The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
