she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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