Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
