So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
