When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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