He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
