I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
