A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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