His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
