he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize