I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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