so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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