woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
