absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
