I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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