I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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