Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
