Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
