Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
