I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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