He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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