Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
