Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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