READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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