After last night, I could never be a politician.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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