when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I met the friendliest cop last night
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
