Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
