FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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