If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
