You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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