So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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