he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Everclear isn't food dammit
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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